Mediocre wingers simply run down the flank, whereas superior wings show the trailing defenders 'a clean pair of heels'. This time-honoured cliche leads to the disturbing image of a man teaming his football shorts and long socks with a pair of six-inch heeled Jimmy Choo's, an image that not even five pints of over-priced stadium beer will erase from your mind by the final whistle. In the interests of heritage, we needn't retire this cliche from the whole of the English language as it originated during the cockfighting battles of Roman times, but it must be deleted from the realm of football for sanity's sake.