In English football, there's a disorder known as 'he saw his name in lights' syndrome. It predominantly affects younger players who, eager to see their name splayed over the back pages of tomorrow's tabloids, let enthusiasm overwhelm them in the heat of the moment. The result? A shot that hospitalises several punters in row Z. Yet while the cliche isn't wrong as such, it's so over-used that it's become even more annoying than the failed attempt on goal. From this day on, then, when a young stalwart spanners a shot into the neighbouring postcode despite the open goal begging for a mere tap in, let's chalk it up to the fact that 90 per cent of the time football hates us and wants us to suffer rather than bemoaning the poor boy for having a dream.
