It's the golden oldie, the cliche that has rooted itself more deeply into the psyche of English football than any other. Behold, if you will, the pointless tradition of insisting that a player 'bulks up'. That is, loses the lean, slight physique so pivotal to his skillful game and morphs into an Incredible Hulk clone capable only of stomping around the field collecting yellow cards. Despite several generations of players proving beyond doubt that height (hello, 5'7" Lionel Messi), build (ooh, the irresistible leanness of Zlatan) and nimbleness (watch a young, rake-thin Neymar skip past all who come within stepover range) have nothing to do with footballing ability, the bulking up narrative in Britain just will not die. "But it's different in the Premier League!", the pundits cry. "Brute strength is the basis of sporting achievement here!". Well maybe, just maybe, that's where we're going wrong. For the sake of English football, then, this cliche must die. Tackle it where you hear it; stamp it out at every opportunity. Go forth, soldiers of truth, and reclaim the national game from its cliches. Which other footballing cliches do you want to die? Share your favourites below in the comments thread.
