The Premier League is a bit chaotic right now. Last year's champs Chelsea are flirting with the relegation zone, Palace are having a surprising little hot streak, Liverpool have replaced their manager, Tottenham can't decide if they're good or not, and did we mention already how much Chelsea suck right now? But though down is up and up is down and Chelsea are losing a lot (can't say it enough), some football truths remain. One such truth is that, through the sweat and grime and terrible haircuts, some players will be really hot. Like, crazy hot. And though many of the famously fit players are sadly out of the league (please see the photo above), there are still more than enough to get us through- though some teams are more equal(ly sexy) than others. Here is the definitive league table for the 2015-2016 season ranked according to attractiveness.