10 Creepy Theories That Ruin Your Favourite Kids TV Shows
1. Wile. E. Coyote Is In Hell
The ‘they were dead the whole time’ hypothesis is Lazy Pub Bullsh*t Theory number one by a country mile. A couple of months ago, GQ’s Scott Meslow parodied the whole concept so witheringly that almost literally kicked every pet fan theory about limbo, purgatory or other post-mortem shenanigans right in the afterlife.
The thing is… it’s clearly actually true in this case. The perennial sad sack coyote at the core of Warner Bros classic animated chases is obviously languishing in the pit of perdition. Now, I’ve been unable to trace the original source of the theory - I first heard it in a pub in Kentish Town about fifteen years ago, but I’ve since seen it discussed by US commentators on Reddit.
The Road Runner/Coyote narrative tends to follow the same endearingly simple format. Wile E. Coyote, our hapless protagonist, is desperate to catch and devour a succulent but speedy bird on a barren, mountainous desertscape, coming up with a succession of barmy, over-elaborate plans, schemes, tricks and traps.
He’s consumed with the task - but he never, ever succeeds. Instead, as his plans and gadgets go horribly wrong, he’s stabbed, sliced, shot, electrocuted, blown to pieces and thrown off cliffs into ravines, only to reemerge (whole and healthy) a short time later, still compelled to catch this impossible bird.
Even when, by rights, his plan should succeed, the laws of physics rebel in the Road Runner’s favour and he fails yet again - it can run across the empty air between mountain ridges, but Wile falls to his doom.
It’s a Sisyphean narrative - the animated equivalent of the ancient Greek king Sisyphus who, upon dying, was condemned to a permanent loop in Hades where he would roll a heavy boulder up a steep hill, only to see it roll to the bottom and be forced to start all over again.
Emaciated, cursed with a raging appetite that he can’t quell, Wile E. Coyote is killed over and over and over again, only to return, hellbent on pursuing his prey. Never dying, never resting. Tell me that’s not living in hell.