10 Reasons Everyone In Star Trek Is An Idiot

1. Up Is Also A Direction

€œHis logic suggests two-dimensional thinking.€ It€™s this analysis of Khan€™s tactics that let the Enterprise get the better of him in Star Trek II, descending to get behind the Reliant and deliver the crippling blow. It€™s also pretty much the last time that €œdown€ would be mentioned in the Star Trek universe. The Milky Way€™s a lot wider than it is thick, granted, but you€™ve still got to go upwards for a solid year at high warp before you run out of stars. So it€™s kind of silly to have a €œneutral zone€ shaped like a hosepipe €“ if your enemies want to evade detection, they might have to take an extra hour out of their way to go up or down a bit, but then it€™s kind of a moot point when you can€™t see past their cloaking devices. Janeway laments the size of Borg space when it stands between Voyager and Earth, but given that the Borg aren€™t likely to hang around outside of the galactic plane there€™s no reason not to go above or below them €“ it€™s not like you€™re missing a chance to stop at the gift shop. Of course, there is one very good reason to clamp every Star Trek race to a 2D plane and pretend that up and down don€™t exist €“ some short-sighted Starfleet designer went and architected an entire fleet of vessels that just look plain ridiculous if they€™re not facing forwards. In fact most Federation ships seen from above resemble that most majestic of inventions €“ the spork. That€™s the real reason Starfleet ships never move up or down - they don't want to risk being mistaken for an intergalactic cutlery set.
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Chris has over a decade's experience as a game designer and writer in the video game industry. He's currently battling Unity in a fight to the death.