10 Worst Things Captain Kirk Has Ever Done

You can't boldly go where no man has gone before without treading on a few toes.

Captain Kirk Screaming Murderer
CBS

Captain, leader, legend – James Tiberius Kirk is one of the most endearing characters in science fiction, if not TV at large. Heroic, individualistic, and with an eye for the ladies, he’s a loveable rogue you can’t help but admire, as well as a great opportunity for William Shatner to shout and mug to his heart’s content.

He’s also, at times, a pretty bad bloke. Whether through selfishness, impetuousness, stubbornness, or good old fashioned dumbness, he has a sizeable CV of wrong doing, and has on more than several occasions steered the crew of the Enterprise into serious trouble simply through his own blunders.

There’s no doubt he sets out to do good, to fulfil the Prime Directive and take his spot as the hero of the galaxy. But when you’re Star Trekking across the universe, it’s only natural you’re going to get distracted once in a while. And when you’re a man with the, shall we say, base desires of J T Kirk, those distractions are liable to get just a little out of hand.

10. Taking Over A Gangster Planet

Captain Kirk Screaming Murderer
CBS

In season 2 episode “A Piece of the Action”, Kirk, Spock, and Dr McCoy find themselves on what can only be described as a gangster planet. Populated by folks clad in pinstripe suits, clutching tommy guns and talking like James Cagney, the Enterprise crew are baffled at first at this strange new world.

That is until they stumble upon a book about the Chicago mob, on which this planet has apparently built its entire civilisation, which explains that. It’s not long before Kirk and the gang find themselves in the middle of ongoing mob warfare, with rival crews demanding use of Starfleet’s advanced technology. Captured, Kirk thinks quickly, and with the cunning strategy of putting on a fedora manages to infiltrate mob HQ. In due course he has inserted himself as top mafioso, with the technologically impaired gangsters left with no choice but to cough up 40% of their annual takings to the Federation (or be killed, presumably).

Kirk claims that the takings will be put to altruistic use, but any gangster worth his salt can convince himself he’s doing the right thing. One hour in a pinstripe suit and Kirk transforms into Scarface.

Contributor
Contributor

Yorkshire-based writer of screenplays, essays, and fiction. Big fan of having a laugh. Read more of my stuff @ www.twotownsover.com (if you want!)