In 1973 Lee Majors played Steve Austin, an astronaut who nearly dies in a horrific test flight. A government agency decides to rebuild him with bionic implants and the bill roughly comes to six million dollars. Before taxes, presumably. With his bionic appendages and the abilities that come with it, Steve Austin is tasked to save the day countless times. He was a precursor to Robocop except he could actually sit in a restaurant without attracting too many stares. He even found love with a bionic lady. Insert countless jokes about their sex life here. Make no mistake about it, The Six Million Dollar Man was a big deal in the 70s and its influence is felt even today. Watch one of the many famous slow-motion action sequences in an episode and then watch an entire Zack Snyder film. The main problem with the show was its capacity to delve into some pretty ludicrous plotlines, a feat all the more incredible given its already ludicrous premise. By the shows end, Steve had already dealt with aliens, time travel, and a bionic Sasquatch. Yes, a bionic Sasquatch. That's him above. If any show could use a grittier, darker re-imagining its the Six Million Dollar Man. Granted, six million dollars is not the extravagant amount it used to be, but technology has certainly come on leaps and bounds. With more realistic storylines and references to recent real life cases of patients fused with technology, a TV show about a government agent with enhanced abilities could easily fill a one-hour time slot on a weekly basis. And who could step into the shoes of Steve Austin the Six Million Dollar Man? How about Stone Cold Steve Austin? Close your eyes and imagine the advertisement: Steve Austin IS Steve Austin. 'Stone Cold' might not have the acting range for some of the quieter moments Lee Majors was somewhat capable of, but people would much rather watch Steve Austin crush a few beers before taking out terrorists then teaming up with a bionic Sasquatch any day. And if you wouldn't, then I'm afraid there's just no fun in your life.
