1. For The Love Of God Do Not Suck Out Snake Venom
Back in the days of the Wild West, when snakebites were as duels and cirrhosis of the liver, the simplest treatment was to just suck it up and walk it off. But like...literally. Just find someone with strong suction who's cool with putting their lips on your bloody appendage and have them take a few slurps. Poof! No more venom! Sitcoms like It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia occasionally play this up for laughs (though they maintain the treatment's plausibility), while pretty much every western ever made (Gunsmoke, Bonanza, Lonesome Dove, etc) feature a key scene with someone doing this. But there's literally no way a person can suck the poison out fast enough. The moment a person is bitten, that venom stars coursing through their lymphatic system. So by the time ol' Tex asks the classically beautiful cattle queen to "get to sucking," that venom would already be well on its way. Also, it's not a great idea to add all that bacteria from a human mouth into a fresh wound, because infections, unlike this treatment option, are very real. The good news, however, is that most times venomous snakebites aren't as fatal as people think. Even in the old days, there was only about a 25 percent fatality rate. (It helps that the snake doesn't automatically release his venom every time it bites onto something.)
