Father Ted: 12 Funniest Episodes

1. Speed III

Opinion will always be divided as to the best Father Ted episode, but I have plumped for 'Speed III'. It contains probably the most larger-than-life character other than the parochial house quartet, in milkman Pat Mustard. His sleazy overt sexuality, and bear-like chest hair caused quite a stir on the island, and not just the stirring of milk into their tea. The innuendo in this episode was in fine fettle, with Mrs Doyle claiming Pat wanted to "put his massive tool in my box." When he actually produced a rather over-sized wrench, it must have been tricky to stifle the laughter on set. However, with Pat, there was room to be outright blatant, such as when he strode back onto his milk float, reminding himself "now to ride Mrs O'Reilly," as if ticking off a checklist. Ted and Dougal are spying on him at this point, correctly linking him to the outbreak of overly hairy babies, and when they hand the evidence in to his boss, even he seems hilariously corrupt, thinking the two priests are trying to sell him sexy pictures. Pat is eventually sacked, but leaves a bomb on the milk float for his successor, Dougal. Another rip-roaring moment is when it looks as though Ted is working out the most complicated of formulas in order to slow down the milk float without blowing Dougal to bits. All he is doing is writing "we put the brick on the accelerator." This particular brick also happens to be Jack's new pet, attached to a string, which makes little sense but then what in this show does? Pat is eventually blown to bits by his own bomb, while he taunts Ted down the phone, claiming "theyll be scraping him off the sidewalk for years to come". They certainly will be, but he probably didn't bank on it being himself. It's almost a shame seeing the hairy baby-maker being killed off, but one suspects the joke would have worn thin over another episode. Nonetheless, he is the butt of some of the show's funniest jokes, and is certainly the main reason why I rate this episode numero uno. Most episodes could state a case for being the best, but 'Speed III' is perfectly executed, and arguably not because of any of the regular cast, which is the biggest surprise of all. What would you rate at the top of your favourites? What have I missed out?