Game Of Thrones: 5 Winners And 5 Losers From 'Two Swords'

The weekly rundown of who's succeeding at the Game, and who got turned down for incest.

Game of Thrones Season 4 is finally underway, and as part of the series this year, we'll be following up every episode with a list of the five biggest winners and losers of that episode. Generally, winners will be characters whose political circumstances have greatly improved within the timeframe of the episode, or have committed a specific act of absolute awesomeness that it is downright victorious. By contrast, losers will be those who are wallowing in the pit of political obscurity, or who do something mind-bendingly god-awful or stupid, as to alienate themselves from everyone and everything good. Sometimes I will include an entrant that is not necessarily a character, but perhaps a group of people; or a tangible object that is important enough to be worthy of consideration. There will also be the occasional 'fourth wall' winners and losers €“ that is, aspects to do with the show's production that stands out for that week. You don't know who or what could make the list, and neither do we!

The Winners

5. Ser Dontos

Have you ever gotten drunk and stalked a pretty young girl alone through the woods, cornered her in a secluded grove, and then won her over with rambling and trinkets? No? Well Ser Dontos has. Who knew that that actually works? Lowly Ser Dontos is now serving as a fool at Joffrey's court, as a mercy from death for having shown up drunk to a duel on the king's name day back in Season 2 (when he calls himself a fool, it is not a put-down, but literally his job title; it's like a jester). Dontos the Fool is still drunk, it seems, and stalking the girl who saved his life must've seemed like a brilliant idea, but goshdarnit, it worked, the genius! Makes me wonder if I've been doing it wrong all these years. I guess girls really do go for that creepy, stalker vibe, right? Either Ser Dontos is the luckiest guy in Westeros, or Sansa has no concept of when it is appropriate to scream for help and throw rocks. Either way, this one is chalked up as a win for those of us who are fat, drunken fools at heart.

Freelance writer and part-time Football Manager addict.