Allow us to set the scene: Bran Stark and his company of misfits have migrated beyond the Wall to search for the three-eyed crow. Or raven. Whatever. Anyway, they manage to make it about ten feet before being assaulted by a band of wights. Things look grim. The small party is surrounded. Hodor has soiled himself, as is his way. And just as they're about to become zombie dinner, a cloaked figure leaps out of the shadows and slays all the wights. The figure lowers his hood, revealing the icy, zombified face of Benjen Stark. "Uncle Benjen?" Bran cries out in disbelief. "Benjen Stark is dead," the once-crow replies. "Only Coldhands remains. Err, remain. Only Coldhands remain." Awkward silence. "I am Coldhands." Cue dramatic music. And if you're about to scroll down to the comments and inform us how wrong we are, give us a moment to explain before you Falcon Punch us through your keyboard. Here's a piece of depressing reality for us all: "The Winds of Winter" isn't exactly galloping towards us on the horizon, and the television series is catching up faster than the fans would care to admit. But here's where it gets sticky: even if Martin manages to crank out book six in time for HBO to produce another couple of seasons, what are the odds that he'll finish "A Dream of Spring" in time for season whatever? Those odds, constant reader, are quite slim. Which means if the game is to continue, then the game must change. And since Weiss and Benioff have access to the outlines for books six and seven, there's nothing (legally) stopping them from charging ahead without Martin. Ever since season one, viewers who partake in the show but ignore the books have had to wear iron earmuffs 24/7 to avoid spoilers. Since the books have been out for years and the Internet is a real place that exists, "Game of Thrones" fans have had to tread carefully to avoid being spoiled by fans who have read the books. But, sooner or later, this dichotomy is going to flip. And rather than dancing around plot developments and dragging their feet, maybe the show-runners should just fire off a spoiler-filled warning shot that says, "We now declare ourselves Punctual R.R. Martin. If you're waiting on the books, don't watch the show and avoid Twitter on Sunday nights. Valar Morghulis, nerds!" Because, seriously, we all know who Coldhands is, which makes him good ammo for this metaphorical warning shot. And while all this may sound extreme, the split is going to be inevitable. The sooner that band-aid is pulled, the sooner we can quit worrying about it and leave poor Martin in peace.
