Dave Lister "I tell you one thing. I've been to a parallel universe, I've seen time running backwards, I've played pool with planets, and I've given birth to twins, but I never thought in my entire life I'd taste an edible Pot Noodle" "Philistines. I mean how can you re-make Cassablanca? The one starring Myra Dinglebat and Peter Beardsley was definitive" "There's a bodybag out there with that scudball's name on it, and I'm doing up the zip. Anyone who gets in my way gets a napalm enema" "Don't give me any of that 'Star Trek' crap. It's too early in the morning" "I just don't trust that machine, man. Look, I know it's old- fashioned, but I'm from the school that believes, If God intended us to fly, he wouldn't have invented Spanish air traffic control"