The Simpsons: 20 Greatest Songs In The Show's History

14. We Do! (The Stonecutters' Song)

Episode: Homer The Great Conspiracy theorists! Say what you will about there being a sinister cabal secretly controlling the world, but if they've got even a smidgen of the Stonecutters' eye for a scandal €“ and ear for a tune €“ then surely it can't all be bad news. Can't you see that it takes chutzpah to confess to such crimes as manipulating the British monarchy, covering the tracks of UFOs and claiming responsibility for Steve Guttenberg, let alone to do it through rhyming couplets? But then, the Stonecutters aren't your typical set of cranks in fancy hats huddled together in a temple. No, they've reached a level of power and prestige founded upon no less than fifteen hundred years of tradition. And, naturally, Homer is their Chosen One. Having inadvertently offended the entire group by using their Sacred Parchment as a bib, Homer is stripped naked, chained to a boulder and ordered to make the walk of shame home. That is until the Stonecutters leader, Number One (voiced by Patrick Stewart) spots Homer's birthmark and recognises it as the symbol they've all been looking for. The next time you (and around two dozen of your mates) find yourselves seated at an impossibly grand table, raise a tankard and congratulate yourselves on another Oscar ceremony well and truly rigged.

13. Who Needs The Kwik-E-Mart?

Episode: Homer and Apu After being fired from his beloved convenient store, Apu turns to Homer for advice. Well, that and forgiveness €“ having recently sold him expired ham and then, to stop him from complaining, handed Homer two five-pound buckets of expired shrimp. Either way, he realises that there is, after all, life beyond the Kwik-E-Mart. And so, having lived with the Simpsons to pay off his debt to karma, Apu feels he should express his desire to start anew. And, as with all grand declarations, it is best delivered through song. ''When I first arrived you were all such jerks/ But now I've come to loooove your quirks'', he begins, pointing out each member's endearing foibles through a lively, Emmy-nominated musical number. Taking their host's lead, it isn't long before the Simpsons are picking fault with the Kwik-E-Mart; although Homer ruins the rhythm altogether by chipping in with ''The Kwik-E-Mart is real...d'oh!''. But Apu seems undeterred, ready to walk away from the Mart for good. That is until the Simpsons hearing him sobbing and howling from their rooftop. ''Who Needs The Kwik-E-Mart?'' he pines, ''I dooooooo!'' While the family are disheartened to learn that their spontaneous theatricality was for nothing, Homer is particularly annoyed by the fact that Apu had lied to him through song.