Star Trek: 15 Most Hilariously Unthreatening Alien Races
11. The Tholians "The Tholian Web" TOS
There were two factors that prevented anyone from taking these aliens seriously, and strangely, neither had anything to do with their physical representation, which wasn't particularly terrible. The Tholians were silicon-based entities who lived in extreme heat, so all the special effects people had to do was show a polyhedral-shaped head with eye slits that didn't have to move - it's not like you expect a rock to have too much animation, right? Plus, with the reddish background in the Enterprise's view screen, which provided enough background to be as believable as needed. The issue was the voice. When the Tholian commander threatened the Enterprise, his high-pitched whiny tone made it seem that Captain Kirk was being threatened by a high-speed centrifuge. And then there was their primary weapon: the Tholian web, a weapon that lacked any kind of threat. Unlike a Romulan plasma torpedo or a Breen energy dissipater, the Tholian web is an energy field that requires the opponent to sit completely still while two Tholian ships fly slowly around it for about 18 uninterrupted hours. Terrifying. And this is how the Tholians defend themselves? Where's the tactical superiority in this weapon? That's like relying upon the good graces of your enemy not to attack you until you're ready. What's the next tactical manoeuvre in the Star Trek combat lexicon: the mulligan?
John Kirk is a Teacher-Librarian and currently a History/English Teacher with the Toronto District School Board.
But mostly, John teaches Geek.
Comics, Sci-Fi (Notably Star Trek), Fantasy and Role-Playing and table-top games all make up part of John’s repertoire, There is a whole generation of nerds-in-embryo who rely on him to make sense of it all, to teach that with great power comes great responsibility, that the force will be with us always and that a towel IS the most useful thing to have in one’s possession.
When John isn’t in the classroom, he can be found in his basement writing comic reviews for www.popmythology.com and features for Roddenberry Entertainment's www.1701news.com.
