Star Trek: Picard Finale Review - 3 Ups And 5 Downs From Et In Arcadia Ego (Part 2)

2. Nobody Talks Like That

Fair play to all involved here because, after Raffi blarted out "and don't think we won't kick your ass dirtbag, because we will", and Oh told us to "ready planetary sterilisation pattern number 5", I didn't think the dialogue on this episode could get much worse. But, credit where it's due, Captain Riker's Saturday Night Live sketch on the bridge of the Zheng He was really something to behold.

"Right now I'm on the bridge of the toughest, fastest, most powerful ship Starfleet ever put into service, and I've got a fleet of them at my back. We've got our phasers locked on your warp cores, and nothing would make me happier than you giving me an excuse to kick your treacherous, Tal-Shiar, ass".

If Star Trek's always done one thing well, it's that it's avoided these lame Hollywood action movie cliches. This genuinely felt like something cobbled together to entertain an audience at a fan convention before Frakes gets introduced as a guest speaker, or something done for a Charity Fundraiser Telethon where a loveable idiot from a different show is hilariously miscast as the weapon's officer.

"Lieutenant Simpson" Riker begins, "fire at will!" before swiveling around in his chair to see Homer asleep at the console.