After the high jinks of last week in Dubai the guys and girls are back in England for the next task, and it's something new this time --- good, because I'm getting a little tired of the same ideas being recycled season after season (you want us to sell what?) --- a corporate away day. Huh? Never heard of them. Oh you know: those things where all the managers and so forth get sent somewhere to learn about teamwork, bonding and problem solving. The kind of things that take people away from the office for a day, and then companies wonder why they're losing money. Honestly, if firms spent as much time on the real day-to-day stuff as they do on these Americanised team-building exercises.... Anyway, you don't want to hear my views on the corporate world. I'm not Luisa, though I do look well in a skirt. But enough about me, on with the task. But first, speaking of skirts, is Jordan wearing one as he comes down the stairs to answer the phone? Oh no: heart start beating again. It's just a towel wrapped around him. Now why don't the girls ever come down dressed like that? So to the strains of, I think, Mozart's
Requiem, Lord Sugar walks into the Guild Hall and delivers the task to his waiting acolytes, sorry candidates. He switches the teams up again a little --- Myles moves over to Endeavour and Leah is told by the Boss that she is to be PM. As she has experience putting on corporate events, Francesca is chosen as PM for the other team. It's an all-girl affair. STOP that! This is a family show! Neil as usual tries to take over Endeavour, and he suggests a "Back-to-school" theme, which meets with approval from just about everyone but Leah, who is more interested in putting on a "majestic" event. Eh? Her idea is a medieval theme. A vote is taken and she's outvoted 4-2, but still sticks to her guns. Ye Olde Medieval Day Out it will be. Karren is impressed with Leah's determination to follow her gut and not back down, although she does question the logic of her decision. On Evolve however, they quickly decide that school is not out, is in fact very much in, as they go for the school theme. Jordan however worries how they will fit in Rebecca's idea of a wine-tasting game into their school theme: surely they don't want to present the message that underage drinking --- even in a fantasy setting --- is okay? But he has a way out: it should be a "don't get caught by the teacher" thing, a fun attempt to evade detection, which could play reasonably well into the corporate idea, although again not a great example for kids. Oh look, it's all over the place ok? Oh, and Luisa drops something of a bombshell when she reveals her dislike of the corporate world. No, you heard right: a woman who owns three businesses, who is participating in one of the most corporate TV shows in history, trying to get investment for her business and partner with a corporate giant, hates the corporate world. Well, I've heard it all now. Francesca suggests chocolate making, but Luisa points out she's a creator of cupcakes, which is similar and if she does it then they can save money. Nevertheless, Francesca sends her and Jason off to the chocolatier. Jordan, Francesca and Rebecca meet their client, Lastminute.com, who explain to them that there needs to be business value taken out of the day out; it's not a holiday or a free day. They want their staff to learn from the experience. Leah and her subteam meanwhile are late to their appointment, Barclays Bank, to the extent that Karren has to hurry them along. Leah makes the fatal and rather arrogant move of not even apologising for being late, though she offers a half-hearted excuse. They shoot down her medieval theme right away, and she has to rethink. There's a short sequence after they leave, where as the CEO of the bank and his assistant prepare to leave they share a look and a grin, as if to say "Who the hell are those people? Don't they have a clue what we want? Wonder what we've let ourselves in for!" It's not a good start, added to the tardiness of the team. On the subteam, Neil drives down the price of archery. This guy doesn't give an inch. The lady wants £400, he says £320 and then she counters with £340 but he will not budge. She came down a good amount but he wasn't prepared to move at all. I think that was totally arrogant. However when they call in to Leah she advises them medieval is out and a military theme is now what they're going with. When Jason and Luisa find out how expensive the chocolatier is, she decides to forget it and just do her cupcakes. She doesn't ask for confirmation from her PM, just makes the decision. That could come back to bite her, but it was a lot of money that she has just saved the team. It is a bit cheeky though, and then she pushes it by asking to buy some baking bags from the woman whom she has basically just told where to stuff her expertise. Shopping for school dinners, Jordan loses control of the budget as the girls run around grabbing things. Neil and Kurt ring in to ask Leah what she thinks about sumo wrestling, as they are concerned they have not enough activities for the day. Well, they have one. She is not happy about the idea, which sends Alex into a paroxysm in the car, where he fumes he will tear out her throat and drink her blood .... well, not really but he gets really agitated, to the point where she has to ask Neil to tell him to calm down and show some respect, which in fairness I agree with. I think even the guys in the car are getting sick of his outbursts. The funny thing is that Alex, speaking on camera, snarls that Leah is out of control, when in fact he's the one who needs to cool his jets. Maybe he needs to drink some blood and relax. Okay, okay! No more vampire jokes or references. I promise. No, I do. Really. Fingers crossed? What are you talking about? You can't even see my fingers! Yay Jason! Striking a blow for chivalry, he helps Luisa out of the car like a true gentleman. Not enough of us left in the world, me old china! At a motivational farm (I don't know, they don't say, just that it's in Kent!) they check out teambuilding games, and again drive the price down. Back at the house as night draws on, Alex and Neil tell Leah they feel she is not listening to them and there is no focus to their day out, while on Evolve Rebecca suggests they engage a motivational speaker for the finale, whereas Luisa and Jordan think they could do this themselves and save the considerable fee. On Endeavour, Neil offers his services for the same idea, and Leah agrees.
The day of the event arrives. Myles and Neil set out their schedule for the day, making sure they take in the client's wish that their staff should take something of a business lesson away from the day. On Evolve, the idea of back-to-school quickly falls apart, and the theme is ... well, nothing. While over at Endeavour the military theme looks like it might work, as Neil takes on the role of Sergeant and Alex a rather psychopathic colonel. Evolve's day is taking its time to take off, as tea and biscuits are served. Francesca mouths business platitudes, and it all seems a little forced and hollow. Endeavour on the other hand are playing games with a business bent, getting the staff to work together and support each other. Unfortunately rain soon stops play, and there is no real Plan B, the day beginning to fall apart. Two completely ridiculous tellytubby style, er, figures come out and bump into each other. Makes no sense and I don't think anyone understands what they're supposed to learn from such a display. I certainly don't. Jason and Rebecca run the wine-tasting game, but again there's no real point to this, although they try to legitimise it and link it to the company, but they're just blagging and they haven't got a clue. Not to mention that the whole idea of "don't get caught by teacher" seems to have been abandoned, or more likely forgotten about! Speaking of not having a clue, the cupcake-making task seems to make no sense either. Many bemused faces, not least mine. With the rain cleared off, Leah leads her team back out and they indulge in archery, while Myles and Neil pump the staff for information and work that into the task, as they were asked to do. Now it's time for the motivational speakers, as the task draws to a conclusion. Evolve go for the professional, while Endeavour leave it to Neil. He seems to go down well, and it's time for the trip back to London and tomorrow to face the Boardrooom. Lord Sugar is not impressed by the fact that Leah ignored the vote for the theme, and even though it was against her idea she stayed with her theme. Karren points out that they were late for their appointment, obviously annoyed, and she calls Leah's medieval idea "half-arsed", while Lord Sugar tells her that she is coming across as indecisive. He can't believe that they used sumo wrestlers (oh, so that's what they were! Didn't look like any sumos I know...) but he also has a problem with Rebecca's idea about wine tasting, especially in a so-called school setting. He's less impressed with the relevance of the cupcakes, but when the numbers are totalled up Endeavour make it, if just barely. Both clients have asked for a partial refund, which is not good, and eats into both team's profits. Lord Sugar grumbles "Refund!" like it's a dirty word, or one he does not understand. You can hear him testing it on his tongue, like someone learning a new concept. Re... fund...? Karren advises Neil that their client was very impressed with him personally, which will no doubt give him the boost to his confidence he needs. He's such a shrinking violet, you know. Still, it can't be denied that he did very well. It's also noticeable that on the way out it's the boys who congratulate each other, while the girls sort of walk in front, probably knowing that they have been carried into a win. Evolve's inevitable post-mortem centres around the motivational speaker and the money that was spent on him, which they could have saved, and which would then have given them a victory. Called back into the Boardroom Evolve are told that there was no structure in their day out, and that the client thought it was a blag. Karren frowns at Francesca's business speak, and asks her if she even knwos what she's saying, while Lord Sugar suggests she may have swallowed a book on business. He points out, not surprisingly, that the team lost the task on the amount of money that equates to the cost of hiring the motivational speaker, and Rebecca squirms, this having been her idea. Francesca deflects attention from that by talking about Luisa's dislike of the corporate world, which does not go down well with Karren, who shoots daggers at her.
Lord Sugar is not impressed with Jason's silence and reticence, but you have to love the guy: when Lord S says to him "You're a very nice guy" he smiles "You're very kind". Oh Jason! How could we not love ya? However, Lord Sugar tells him he's not looking for a nice guy to go into business with. Francesca is warned not to bring anyone back on a personal basis but goes for Luisa (shock!) and Rebecca. Luisa snaps "I worked my a-" and there it is again, but she says "absolute best!" Boo! Say what you mean, young lady! Ah bless! Jason is such a gentleman he even holds the door for another guy! On their return to the Boardroom, Francesca again talks about Luisa's dislike for the corporate world, but Luisa says that her PM displayed exactly the qualities she hates about the corporate world: empty words, soundbites and pointless business speak. Lord Sugar worries that Luisa is too much of a handful (STOP IT I SAID!) and may be too much of a firebrand to work with. She however points out, very correctly, that she saved over a thousand pounds on the cupcake thing, which Lord Sugar agrees is hard to argue with. In the end, the task was lost on the decision to hire the motivational speaker, and after the usual to-ing and fro-ing and dancing back and forth (have to build up the suspense, don't you know?) it's Rebecca who's shown the door. As she leaves she seems very surprised, and to be fair either she or Francesca could have gone, and the PM is lucky to have survived really. And so we're halfway through the process, with Neil happily declaring "Only nine more of you to go before I win!" After today's performance, who would bet against him? Luisa's on notice, Francesca's not come out of this smelling of roses, and if Jordan squeaks "Get in!" one more time I think he'll be on his way. Join me next week for more fun and frolics as another unhappy candidate takes the last black cab ride he or she would ever want to take. You know what? I bet they don't even tip the cabbie! Business moguls of the future, indeed...