The Dark Side Of Kids TV Quiz!
You, unfortunately, must pay strict attention.
Children's television exists for one purpose of crucial, crucial importance: momentarily distracting jumped-up radgies long enough to allow for a Twitter doom-scroll.
Children's television is bad and often obnoxiously so. It is bad in multifarious ways.
It is often insufferably twee. At least the Racoons had a banger of a theme tune; now, Sarah & Duck is a sing-speak nightmare written by some tosspot in a Fedora. It is counterproductive; the little sh*ts in it are little sh*ts because they ultimately learn a lesson, but the children watching only comprehend the little sh*t part because it is more fun, and it's a serial, so they are little sh*ts every time and more often than not, Bing.
It contradicts the lessons imparted by the parent and at the same time shames them. Daddy Pig is appalled because his white shirt gets dyed pink, the horror, but is never appalled to the point of fury by the behaviour of his bratty kids. He is fat, perfect piece of sh*t.
Its mere existence is at least practical. You can sit the children in front of the glow secure in the knowledge that it cannot, by definition, significantly damage their psyche.
Except in can, on the following evidence, so one must endure the incessant wailing of George Pig until they're at least f*cking five years old for f*ck's sake.
Answers at the end!