10 Alternative Happy Endings To Universally Hated Wrestling Storylines
The Director's Cut.
Imagine a world in which the dominant market share enjoyed by WWE was challenged. Even slightly.
It's difficult to conceive that the current landscape, in which McMahon family drama takes precedent over the minor tribulations of the roster 17 years after it reached its nadir, would remain in vogue. If a company of New Japan's critical success had the money and nous to challenge it, WWE might have to listen to its fanbase - instead of triggering them into fury, promising change, and failing to deliver over and over and over again. Instead, New Japan is unable to reconfigure its streaming service for western audiences, and unwilling to deviate from tradition or strategy to truly maximise the immense potential of Wrestle Kingdom 12.
Not that it really matters; WWE has reigned supreme for so long that the coffers alone condemn us all to a WWE made by WWE made for WWE. The worst of it is that WWE itself had a golden opportunity to create competition for itself - and p*ssed it away with a spiteful, ego-driven golden shower...
But we can, erm, but dream.
10. The Admin War Between Mick Foley And Stephanie McMahon
The Reality:
RAW Commissioner Stephanie McMahon hires Mick Foley as her General Manager ahead of the 2016 Draft, ostensibly so he could run the show day to day - but in reality, it allows Steph to indulge in her favourite pastime: castrating those under her charge in lengthy, tedious segments with no real conclusion. Stephanie, true to form, castrates Foley in lengthy, tedious segments. Why, we still don't know: if anything, she has more creative influence over Foley 'IRL', despite this continuation of the reality-leaning 'Authority' storyline. Steph low-blows him off TV in March of this year. He's not been seen since.
The Alternative:
WWE resolves the dispute by booking a WrestleMania 33 match between two representatives chosen by each authority figure - with the winner securing RAW for their advocate. This way, two performers receive the elusive rub of standing up to Steph and avoid the meaningless black hole that is the André The Giant Memorial Battle Royal, thus securing an eye-catching performance on the most visible stage.
Besides which, Stephanie is soon written off television, anyway - which renders the preceding eight or so months even more pointless.