10 Alternative Happy Endings To Universally Hated Wrestling Storylines

5. The Not-So Prodigal Son

Cm Punk Triple H
WWE

The Reality:

After an Attitude Era-style storyline, Jason Jordan is revealed as Kurt Angle's secret son earlier this year - to zero fanfare. The angle itself is so matter of fact and so difficult to accept that the mystery becomes mystifying in short order. The resulting arc is even more difficult to accept than a biological impossibility; Jordan doesn't become a vainglorious faux-babyface, even though he is literally related to the template; he simply becomes a bratty, vegetable-chucking rapscallion with a flair for earnest whining.

It's no wonder Booker T doesn't know what to make of him.

The Alternative:

Jordan is immediately reimagined as a snivelling beneficiary of nepotism. He receives the easiest route to "championship opportunities" imaginable, engineered by a well-meaning but involuntarily corrupt General Manager, taking it all in with a smarmy grin begging for comeuppance. He feigns injury under threat of real competition. The fans receive some sort of clue as to how to actually receive the Jordan character, since "proud son" is several notches below naff even under the benchmark "baloney, fudge and mustard" WWE babyface principle.

The heel turn should have been foreshadowed within an inch of its life. Instead, bizarrely, WWE tries to actually get the Jordan-as-babyface bit over. Nepotism and the inability to suspend disbelief are double-barrelled triggers for fans. This is WWE's dual strategy to get Jordan over.

Contributor
Contributor

Michael Sidgwick is an editor, writer and podcaster for WhatCulture Wrestling. With over seven years of experience in wrestling analysis, Michael was published in the influential institution that was Power Slam magazine, and specialises in providing insights into All Elite Wrestling - so much so that he wrote a book about the subject. You can order Becoming All Elite: The Rise Of AEW on Amazon. Possessing a deep knowledge also of WWE, WCW, ECW and New Japan Pro Wrestling, Michael’s work has been publicly praised by former AEW World Champions Kenny Omega and MJF, and current Undisputed WWE Champion Cody Rhodes. When he isn’t putting your finger on why things are the way they are in the endlessly fascinating world of professional wrestling, Michael wraps his own around a hand grinder to explore the world of specialty coffee. Follow Michael on X (formerly known as Twitter) @MSidgwick for more!