10 Alternative Wrestling Awards For 2023
1. The Lanny Poffo Award
In this age of modern wrestling and its apparent evils, the more old school-minded wrestling fans have launched a backlash: apparently, the best wrestlers are those who get the most out of doing the least.
On that basis, the best wrestler of all-time is the much-missed Lanny Poffo, who was signed to WCW as a favour to his brother Randy Savage, and received five years' worth of salary for wrestling, at the most, once. They either forgot he existed or just wished to keep Savage sweet. The man was paid to sit around and do nothing.
Who in wrestling was paid handsomely for doing next to nothing in 2023?
Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows are heavy betting favourites, but for the sake of variety won't be considered; much like Bryan Danielson and the Wrestling Observer Newsletter's Best Technical Wrestler Award, they might as well rename the Poffo Award after them two.
Nikki Cross was paid to hover around in backstage segments and look catatonic on the apron. In addition to the Poffo Award, she is competing with Dexter Lumis for the Gets Works Because WWE Is Weirdly Impressed By Their Inability To Blink prize.
The award would have been given to Half The AEW Roster, had the Authors of Pain not worked a single professional wrestling match since re-signing with WWE in 2022.