9. Double Tough
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otNyqSUxRMk One could be forgiven for assuming that the Double Cross Ranch was actually fictional, because it always looks different. Sometimes it's relatively lush, but sometimes, as here, it's only slightly more verdant than a Mad Max film. In any case, Funk tears ass across this barren landscape in a rusty old pickup truck, William Tell Overture blaring, then leaps out to scream about how the truck is double tough, just like him. I'm not in the market for a pickup truck, but I'd probably buy one anyway if Terry Funk was trying to sell me one. My favorite things that Funk does in this glorious promo, in no particular order: Literally throwing his hat a la Yosemite Sam; waving at a camera crew in case they thought some other crazy man was driving by; being irrationally upset that wrestlers on the East Coast blow-dry their hair; and speaking so aggressively that he had to keep chasing the camera crew as they retreat. Meaner than a rattlesnake, tougher than shoe leather indeed. Funkism: "Pig-nosed airhead on MTV"