10 Candidates For WWE's Bizarre Post-WrestleMania 38 Push

7. Von Wagner

Boa NXT
WWE

"C*m Tuesday" describes NXT 2.0 rather well, so much so that it's a wonder WWE hasn't renamed the show after Von Wagner's catchphrase à la SmackDown.

Again: it's all about intercourse. Who's the best at intercourse. Who wants to have intercourse with who. Who can't have intercourse, but badly wants to have intercourse, and is making it their stated mission to have intercourse for the first time. Brooks Jensen isn't interested in winning. He just wants to pop his cherry. He's less likely to do the old "I want the belt" motion and more likely to do that thing where you shape your forefinger and middle finger into an oval and repeatedly jam the forefinger on the other hand in and out of it.

Von Wagner has actually appeared on the main roster already. He was sighted late last year alongside Adam Pearce, acting as his heavy, presumably. This came to nothing. Perhaps Von was unimpressed with his lack of heart. Or maybe we should have let that one "play out," too, because it's leading to his SmackDown debut in the next week or so. After all, he's a more serious proposition than most in Carry On Bruce Prichard.

Actually, scratch that: he appears to want to blow his beans up Sofia Cromwell, gauging by the most recent episodes of NXT 2.0, so he looks set for Tuesdays for now.

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Michael Sidgwick is an editor, writer and podcaster for WhatCulture Wrestling. With over seven years of experience in wrestling analysis, Michael was published in the influential institution that was Power Slam magazine, and specialises in providing insights into All Elite Wrestling - so much so that he wrote a book about the subject. You can order Becoming All Elite: The Rise Of AEW on Amazon. Possessing a deep knowledge also of WWE, WCW, ECW and New Japan Pro Wrestling, Michael’s work has been publicly praised by former AEW World Champions Kenny Omega and MJF, and current Undisputed WWE Champion Cody Rhodes. When he isn’t putting your finger on why things are the way they are in the endlessly fascinating world of professional wrestling, Michael wraps his own around a hand grinder to explore the world of specialty coffee. Follow Michael on X (formerly known as Twitter) @MSidgwick for more!