10 Cult Wrestling Matches To See Before You Die
6. The Bushwhackers Vs. The Iron Sheikh & Nikolai Volkoff - Heroes Of Wrestling
Much like in the motion picture 'Stand By Me', in which the four adolescent protagonists can't articulate their urge to see a dead body, pro wrestling fans enjoy watching sh*tty wrestling. It's cruel behaviour, revelling in total failure, but it is what it is - and this, quite possibly, is the single biggest piece of sh*t ever curled off in a pro wrestling ring.
Sheikh moves with all the vitality of Ray Brower in this utter abomination of this great sport. It is a performance that cannot even be described as shambolic because it isn't a performance; the man is almost literally incapable of moving, so much so that, when he is cheating, to stall for time, Bushwhacker Luke has to remonstrate the referee for what seems like and might well be two full minutes winding his arm. He is stuck in the same infinite loop as the poor souls who watch him.
Volkoff is mobile, which undoubtedly helps, but he is abysmal here, too, cushioning Luke's fall so obviously that it's as if he's just realised that, maybe, his three year-old son is a bit too fragile to start play-wrestling with.
The scene is macabre, but it is necessary to mature as a pro wrestling fan - to realise that even your heroes are mortal.
Darlin', darlin'...