10 Dumbest Ways WWE Promoted WrestleMania Matches

8. The Undertaker Vs. John Cena - WrestleMania 34

R Truth Bad News Barrett
WWE

The notion of John Cena not making it to WrestleMania 34 was too absurd. We were meant to believe in this...match between a drunken actor and an undead mortician, otherwise what's the point?

This drunken actor was miscast as a down on his luck, fading star - who, incidentally, was and presumably still is a free agent, because the company relies on him to pop a rating - just couldn't make it to WrestleMania. He didn't win the Royal Rumble. He didn't win earn a shot at Brock Lesnar's Universal Title in the Elimination Chamber match. He didn't unseat AJ Styles as WWE Champion at Fastlane, and that was that. John Cena had ran out of chances to appear on the Grandest Stage. He could have taken the place of Konnor in the André The Giant Memorial Battle Royal, but no.

He demanded the Undertaker return from symbolic retirement, and cut several promos that were more loud than good, acclaimed though they were for his ability to get the crowd to chant "Undertaker!"

They were WWE crowds. You can get them to chant anything, as long as you trail off at the appropriate interval.

"I'm feeling peckish. I think I could go for some ice..."

"CREAM! CREAM! CREAM! CREAM! CREAM!"

Petulant but undoubtedly intriguing, at least it yielded a banter spectacle of sorts.

Contributor
Contributor

Michael Sidgwick is an editor, writer and podcaster for WhatCulture Wrestling. With over seven years of experience in wrestling analysis, Michael was published in the influential institution that was Power Slam magazine, and specialises in providing insights into All Elite Wrestling - so much so that he wrote a book about the subject. You can order Becoming All Elite: The Rise Of AEW on Amazon. Possessing a deep knowledge also of WWE, WCW, ECW and New Japan Pro Wrestling, Michael’s work has been publicly praised by former AEW World Champions Kenny Omega and MJF, and current Undisputed WWE Champion Cody Rhodes. When he isn’t putting your finger on why things are the way they are in the endlessly fascinating world of professional wrestling, Michael wraps his own around a hand grinder to explore the world of specialty coffee. Follow Michael on X (formerly known as Twitter) @MSidgwick for more!