10 Most Desperate Ways WWE Got You To Watch
Vince McMahon is famously not in the "wrestling business". He's in something far more seedy...
Tony Khan's enthusiasm is mocked in certain circles, but the man is a professional wrestling promoter.
While he might overdo it at times, he's not meant to say "Here's some guy all of a sudden that some of you like, I'm not so keen, quite frankly," which is how Vince McMahon debuted virtually every NXT act for about five years.
The debuting star is meant to be treated as a huge deal. You're meant to think they're a star attraction, and the promoter is meant to think that the act they've just signed is a huge deal with the potential to transform the company and win championships - otherwise, they wouldn't have paid them lots of money.
The debuting pro wrestler isn't meant to just turn up one week and simply exist, as Michael Cole tells the audience that she enjoyed listening to '80s music in her mam's car. The debuting pro wrestler is meant to be a star. The promoter hypes star attractions accordingly. This shouldn't be especially difficult to grasp. Pro wrestlers aren't meant to go 50/50 in a sludgy nothing world where nothing matters outside of Roman Reigns.
If you think TK overdoes it, you clearly never encountered Vince McMahon...
10. NXT 2.0 Is Basically Pornography
NXT 2.0 is incredible in its transparent bid for attention.
The NXT 2.0 viewer is lured into a product ran by unseemly old men under the tacit promise that you might one day see two members of the roster have it off. Seriously: it is a romantic comedy masquerading as a pro wrestling show, and the main hook involves several will-they-won't-they have it off storylines.
Will the son of Bull Buchanan finally chuck his muck up Kayden Carter?
Tune in to NXT 2.0 live on the USA Network.
Yeah, it's like that.
It's worked for every successful three camera sitcom since the dawn of time, so why not NXT 2.0? Well, it's not a three camera sitcom. Nor is it successful: "Sex! Now that we have your attention, here's some green wrestlers getting lost inside three minutes" is not a particularly popular promotional tactic.
It is an incredibly horny production. A desperately horny production; when the camera operator isn't trying to motorboat Mandy Rose, Duke Hudson is dry-humping Persia Pirotta in the locker room. The gambit isn't succeeding, but they're gonna do it anyway.
The latest reach for the 18-49 male demographic comes in the form of Nikkita Lyons, whose vignettes were literally filmed from the André the Giant angle to capture the full weight of her breasts, and whose signature pin involves performing the splits in front of a hard cam that zones in on her arse.
They think you want to clap those cheeks louder than a Carnegie Hall encore, and by God, that is how they'll get you to watch.