10 Most INFURIATING WWE Quirks

4. The Name On The Marquee...

McMahon Photoshop
WWE.com

...is repeated constantly because we, as viewers, are treated like we are as thick as pig sh*t.

Every last moment of the WWE product - and it's WWE TV, it's fairly easy to follow, it isn't f*cking Eraserhead - is explained away by the commentary team. Every hashtag, in addition to being literally spelled out for us on the screen, is repeated more often than a Bar Vs. Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose match. We have reached a saturation point at which WWE has contrived to lessen anticipation for the most anticipated events on the calendar because branding has completely superseded any organic storytelling. WWE sells pay-per-views like Shawn Michaels sells for Hulk Hogan.

WrestleMania 33 was the 'Ultimate Thrill Ride'. Even the Undertaker said it. It was only a thrill ride in that the ascent up the rollercoaster made you sick with dread. No segment escaped the branding. It was water torture. SummerSlam was the Biggest Party Of The Summer. At six and a half hours long, WWE, at least, could not be accused of false advertising. Survivor Series was the one night a year RAW and SmackDown battle for brand supremacy. Except for TLC. And the Mixed Match Challenge. Still, SmackDown placed RAW #UnderSiege, which really put the whole thing over...as a plot hole.

This is acceptable - standard practise - for the commentary teams. When WWE instructs its wrestlers to parrot this b*llocks, they appear less like wrestlers and more like marketing undergraduates. Nobody talks like that in reality. Immersion becomes impossible. Wrestling is written off as soap opera by those who know nothing of it.

In terms of dialogue, those who know of it know that it is worse.

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Michael Sidgwick is an editor, writer and podcaster for WhatCulture Wrestling. With over seven years of experience in wrestling analysis, Michael was published in the influential institution that was Power Slam magazine, and specialises in providing insights into All Elite Wrestling - so much so that he wrote a book about the subject. You can order Becoming All Elite: The Rise Of AEW on Amazon. Possessing a deep knowledge also of WWE, WCW, ECW and New Japan Pro Wrestling, Michael’s work has been publicly praised by former AEW World Champions Kenny Omega and MJF, and current Undisputed WWE Champion Cody Rhodes. When he isn’t putting your finger on why things are the way they are in the endlessly fascinating world of professional wrestling, Michael wraps his own around a hand grinder to explore the world of specialty coffee. Follow Michael on X (formerly known as Twitter) @MSidgwick for more!