9. Suplexing The English Language
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6O8Nr9HFFoo When on top form, Scott Steiner could be one of the best promo guys in the business. After all, hes a smart guy, unafraid of large crowds, articulate and really good at shouting like the drill sergeant from Full Metal Jacket. Thats really all it takes, right? When not on top form, Scott Steiner was an incoherent yellfest in a chainmail hoodie. A lot of people love his messy trash talking promos even more than his good ones, simply because theyre so much more entertaining they dont get the angle over, just Steiner, but then thats probably the point. The jurys out as to whether his worst excesses on the mic are examples of spontaneous muppetry, or whether Big Poppa Pump, the Big Bad Booty Daddy (he appears to have taken his nicknames from the readers letters section of Playgirl magazine), knows exactly what hes doing. Whatever the case, when Steiner gets overexcited he loses the ability to form coherent sentences, mangling the English language like a big, clumsy dog on a guinea pig. We think hes just asked Goldberg to marry him, but we cant be sure. Theres some garbled insight into his sex life in the middle thats given generations of wrestling fans nightmares, though.
Jack Morrell
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Professional writer, punk werewolf and nesting place for starfish. Obsessed with squid, spirals and story. I publish short weird fiction online at desincarne.com, and tweet nonsense under the name Jack The Bodiless. You can follow me all you like, just don't touch my stuff.
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