10 Radical Ideas To Save Zack Ryder
9. Take Him Out Of His Comfort Zone
We need to take Ryder far, far away from that whole ‘broski’, ‘siiick’, ‘woo woo woo’ thing. No more staying hype, no more cutting promos like he’s got a college radio DJ stuck in his oesophagus.
He’s met us halfway already - he looks like a proper bloke with that beard, and his hair’s all one colour. Not only that, but whatever workout regimen he’s on, he looks jacked these days. That’s a main event look - but the gear could do with some work. Give him some tights or trousers instead of those briefs.
He needs a new finishing move, like yesterday. In fact, he could do with two. The Rough Ryder basically involves him leaping groin first at his opponents’ faces. Now, there’s nothing wrong with that, but it’s no way to win a wrestling match.
A nasty, violent finish would be perfect: the kind of thing that comes with a snap that looks like he’s punishing an absentee father every time he hits it... like the double underhook spinning lifting sitout facebuster, also known as the Angels’ Wings.
A submission as well as that would be handy, too. I’d go for the crossface chickenwing: it’s mostly identified with Bob Backlund, which is handy, but it’s also vicious as all hell and it's got that brilliant ramping up action that can occur when you grapevine the body, just like Kurt Angle's ankle lock went to the next level when he applied the grapevine.
Cesaro and Dean Ambrose have it up their sleeves, but to my knowledge no one on the roster has yet claimed it as a signature move.