When James Hellwig - better known to the general populace as The Ultimate Warrior - passed away in early 2014, he left behind an interesting career history. Which is something of an understatement. But perhaps the strangest turn in a lifetime full of them came in 1996 when the Warrior put out a comic book which depicted him a psychopathic "superhero" which is legitimately one of the most inexplicable comics ever made, wrestling-based or otherwise. Drawn in the style of the time (if you're not familiar: huge physiques for the men, tiny waists for the women, lots of cross-hatch shading and pouches on clothes), the Warrior comic book was almost completely incomprehensible, the thin tatters of a plot - consisting of the titular hero being marooned on an asteroid - barely setting up the endless bloody battles he had against alien foes with the help of his trademark tassels, which apparently had a mind of their own. The true pinnacle of Warrior comic book lunacy, however, lies in the Christmas special. Following a thorough re-telling of this Warrior character's origins (and the revelation that he hails from a planet called Destrucity), this festive funnybook doesn't have a story so much as a series of pin-up images. In one the Ultimate Warrior delivers toys to good boys and girls; in another, he brings light to the Christmases of the homeless; in one, he stops the theft of presents by some shady-looking dudes. Then there are the ones that see him strangling the Grinch to death, chasing a couple of kids who caught him putting presents under their tree whilst wielding candy canes like clubs, and the piece de resistance: torturing Santa Claus in Hell for unspecified crimes. Happy holidays!
Tom Baker is the Comics Editor at WhatCulture! He's heard all the Doctor Who jokes, but not many about Randall and Hopkirk. He also blogs at http://communibearsilostate.wordpress.com/
