1. Hulk Hogan Vs. Yokozuna (WrestleMania IX)
Time: 22 seconds.
The one match that trumps Lesnar vs. Goldberg for brevity shouldn't have even happened at the first place.
Yokozuna had just captured his first WWE Championship by defeating Bret Hart in under nine minutes (a match that would've made our countdown had it closed the show as intended). It took a trademark handful of salt from Mr. Fuji to get the job done, but it came following a commanding performance that saw the comparatively tiny Hart struggle to cope with Yoko's 500lb bulk.
One of the most facepalm-worthy moments of Hulk Hogan's career followed. Having stated earlier in the show that he wanted to challenge the main event's winner, Hogan came out to "check on Hart's condition." Fuji grabbed the microphone and challenged Hogan to face Yoko there and then, and in just 22 seconds, Hulk had him pinned with the leg drop.
Yoko's first WWE Championship defence ended in the blink of an eye, and his monstrous aura was sacrificed for the sake of putting the belt back around Hogan's waist. It was a contrived finish to one of the worst WrestleManias in history, and while Yoko regained the title from Hogan three months later, it only came when a Japanese photographer climbed onto the apron and shot a fireball into The Hulkster's face.
This was Hogan at his absolute worst - uninspired, uninterested, and unwilling to put anybody over - and he was out of WWE by the end of the year.