10 Solutions To The Hot Mess That Is WWE Creative

7. Fire The Writers

Brock Lesnar SummerSlam
WWE.com

It's a role even more redundant than that of the General Manager.

A WWE writer is ostensibly there to navigate the talent into a position befitting their talent. The infinite monkey theorem posits that an infinite combination of monkeys, typewriters and time would "almost surely" produce the complete works of Shakespeare. The hack monkeys of WWE have existed since booking transitioned into writing circa 2002. The lack of genuine major stars created since that year is a total condemnation of the philosophy.

The writing staff have done more to put Mickie James' "biscuit butt" chant over than the performer that is Finn Bálor over the last couple of months, a dire development in itself that also proves their lack of worth. It must be a hard job. It's probably easier to pop Vince McMahon with alliteration and juvenile bullsh*t than with a pitch to create a new star because McMahon is already set on who those stars are. He'll even fatalistically bury a performer, just to prove they don't meet his standards.

And therein lies the problem: a writer can't get a performer over, through virtue of being a redundant hack. A performer can't get themselves over, because they are scripted by a redundant hack.

A performer can't get themselves over, because the road forks into the lanes of CM Punk and Zack Ryder.

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Michael Sidgwick is an editor, writer and podcaster for WhatCulture Wrestling. With over seven years of experience in wrestling analysis, Michael was published in the influential institution that was Power Slam magazine, and specialises in providing insights into All Elite Wrestling - so much so that he wrote a book about the subject. You can order Becoming All Elite: The Rise Of AEW on Amazon. Possessing a deep knowledge also of WWE, WCW, ECW and New Japan Pro Wrestling, Michael’s work has been publicly praised by former AEW World Champions Kenny Omega and MJF, and current Undisputed WWE Champion Cody Rhodes. When he isn’t putting your finger on why things are the way they are in the endlessly fascinating world of professional wrestling, Michael wraps his own around a hand grinder to explore the world of specialty coffee. Follow Michael on X (formerly known as Twitter) @MSidgwick for more!