10 Stages Of Life As A Wrestling Fan
7. Ultra-Geeky Obsession
We all think we can promote better pro wrestling than Vince McMahon and, since none of us in our right bloody minds would persist with pushing Roman Reigns for four b*stard years, we all probably can.
This is why some of us with hairs on our necks grew hairs on our chest and bravely wandered into the realm of E-Fedding, running our own promotions and building them around the as-yet-untapped megastar potential possessed by Jerry Lynn.
Some of us also played the role of wrestler, writing promos in opposition with our fellow hopeless geeks, with the head helpless geek “promoter” determining the winner and pushing them to the illustrious main event of Xtremely Phat Wrestling.
Some of us, and this isn’t specific so think nothing of it, created wrestlers by the name of ‘EvenFlow’, who made his epic entrance to the Pearl Jam song of the same name. This multi-time World Champion also draped himself in the American flag and set fire to some woodland, because he really, really liked Pearl Jam and liberally borrowed from their music videos. And he also, because of course he did, dressed in the exact same attire as Raven.
Sad as anything, yes, but wrestling holds the power of inspiring creativity.
Sometimes this manifests as the almost sweet folly of virginal youth; other times, this manifests as obnoxiously screaming our booking ideas into Twitter as if Vince gives even half a f*ck.