10 Things I Hate About CM Punk
1. CM PUNK CM PUNK CM PUNK
I can completely understand the impetus for that two-year-old chant, even if it bugs the !*$% out of me. For many fans, Punk was the guy on the inside who articulated every complaint they'd ever had about the WWE. That's why so many lapsed RAW viewers came back after the infamous Las Vegas promo in June 2011.
Clearly the promo was, as with many of the best storylines and characters, simply an exaggeration of a real thing, his stated desire to effect real change in the WWE simply a work. And of course it was: Punk knew he wasn't going to remove Vince McMahon or John Cena from the upper echelons, and beating Triple H at SummerSlam 2011 wouldn't have made a blind bit of difference to the company.
No, the change that Punk was interested in was a change of heart, the idea that there were equally valid ways of looking at professional wrestling that were outside of the comfortable WWE box. He was obsessed with proving that a scrawny punk rock kid with a sh*t-eating grin and a big f*cking mouth could get over as a star on the biggest of all stages as easily as a giant mountain of muscle.
Punk had little natural athletic talent and an ordinary physique, but absolutely refused to allow that to stop him being great. His other great gift is discipline, and man have I ever wished I had an ounce of that kind of laser focus to improve and to achieve, without compromise. This is a guy that rehabs painkiller free, even after surgery. Sometimes you admire in others qualities that you believe you share, and sometimes it's the things you wish you had in common that form the connection.
I'm as certain as I can possibly be that's he's never coming back, and I made my peace with that a couple of months after he left. I don't even really miss him on WWE television anymore: it's been a while, after all, and occasionally he'll pop up on Twitter or in the news to remind us all what a touchy !*$% he can be.
But occasionally I find myself wondering how he'd have been in WWE storylines doing the rounds: what spot he might have had on the roster, how he'd have handled the Roman Reigns fiasco, and the sheer, unforced pleasure he'd have taken in what's happened in the WWE women's division. I wonder whether 'Stone Cold' really would have come out of retirement to work Punk at WrestleMania, and how that would have gone.
The thing I hate most about CM Punk is that from 2009 to 2013 he was the best thing going, with a few dips here and there, and I'm pretty sure he made the WWE a better place just by being in it, bad attitude and all: and now he isn't, and he doesn't. I'd say WWE's loss is UFC's gain, but eh... let's wait and see.