10 Things I Hate About CM Punk

10. He's An Overrated Promo

cm punk promo
WWE.com

Phil Brooks has the gift of the gab. You get the impression from interviews he€™s taken part in over the years that even in his high school days he was beginning to put together the persona he€™d swing for the fences with in the WWE: the big-mouthed, hard-nosed punk on a mission.

The man can practically talk on an Olympic level, and the years of putting together in-ring promos more or less on the fly have only honed that ability. And good god, but he's lazy with it.

Everyone€™s always going to remember the smart aleck invective of that glorious worked- shoot promo in Vegas, or the trash talking par excellence he came out with against The Rock, whose arms - apparently - were too short to box with God.

It€™s brilliant stuff from an inspired, motivated CM Punk. When he wasn€™t motivated like that, or as he was in the summer of 2011 leading up to that amazing Money In The Bank match with Cena for the title, Punk would often meander on the mic, losing focus.

Paul Heyman, a similarly gifted man on the stick with similar sensibilities, never loses that focus because he knows how to hit storytelling beats in a promo, knows how to use repetition, light and shade to create dynamics that build to the point he€™s trying to make.

Punk never bothered learning how to cut a promo, because Phil Brooks is a naturally gifted motormouth, a born trash talker. Ironically, given that he always compared himself to Batman, Punk€™s more like Superman on the mic so strong, he€™s never bothered learning how to punch.

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Professional writer, punk werewolf and nesting place for starfish. Obsessed with squid, spirals and story. I publish short weird fiction online at desincarne.com, and tweet nonsense under the name Jack The Bodiless. You can follow me all you like, just don't touch my stuff.