10 Things I Hate About John Cena

5. He's A Narrative Cul-De-Sac

This complaint comes with a mournful sigh, sadly. John Cena doesn€™t bury as many people as his haters seem to think he does. The buck doesn€™t stop with him when it comes to his creative, as it did with Hulk Hogan in WCW for example. Many of the examples of Cena €˜keeping people down€™ come from the short-sighted, reductive writing that€™s been associated with the majority of the WWE product for as long as Cena has been in and around the main event. But Cena does have stroke backstage: surely, if there was an angle or a finish that he felt was off, he could use that stroke to have it rewritten or rebooked? Well, absolutely€ but let€™s not blame on malice what could be explained by incompetence. Maybe he€™s just not very good at that kind of storytelling - the kind of careful plotting that good booking needs. He wouldn€™t be the first big star to prefer to leave it to the writers and agents. Still, working with Cena tends to do more harm than good to up-and-coming stars. Bray Wyatt and the Family were made to look foolish by him. In six months, the Nexus went from the fearsome faction that destroyed Monday Night RAW to a selection of jobbers that couldn€™t keep Cena down for more than a few seconds, let alone out for the count. Cena powered through Del Rio€™s devastating finisher with a bum wing. He crushed Rusev€™s advance to the top of the midcard, and the younger star has never recovered. And let€™s not even go into how working alongside Cena killed Zack Ryder€™s career. The best pro wrestling main event stars find a way to get their opponent over when their opponent puts them over. Bret Hart, I'm looking at you again. John Cena, on the other hand, is always booked to be the star of every angle, and no one else gets to play. He may not be intentionally burying his opponents, but when the result of entering into an angle with him is an inevitable loss in stature, is that just a distinction without a difference?
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Professional writer, punk werewolf and nesting place for starfish. Obsessed with squid, spirals and story. I publish short weird fiction online at desincarne.com, and tweet nonsense under the name Jack The Bodiless. You can follow me all you like, just don't touch my stuff.