10 Things I Hate About WrestleMania
8. The Lack Of Intelligent Stagecraft
Clearly the spectacle and the pageantry of WrestleMania are two of its biggest selling points, so keep the Fourth Of July pyro, keep the freewheeling sideshow. What Im concerned with is basic stagecraft - and this may be the Grandest Stage Of Them All, but its still just a stage, and one thing always stays the same.
Timing. You have a certain amount of time to fill, and thats it: no amount of money, marketing, promotional flair or creative brilliance can turn sixty minutes into sixty-one.
WrestleMania is a massive show, but its timed at four hours for worldwide broadcast. Look at how many matches get relegated to the pre-show these days. Sure, theyre still being broadcast on the Network with the same production value as the rest of the card and, sure, the participants still get to perform in front of the same crowd but theyre not really on the show, and everyone knows it.
Far too often, the show goes so long that advertised matches on the broadcast card itself are shortened, even cancelled. Thats terrible stage management. Whos running this supposed Show Of Shows?
And whats eating up that time? Sometimes marquee matches go long, and thats fair enough, but then there are the live bands playing full-length versions of wrestlers theme tunes to welcome them to the ring. There are the unskilled celebrities taking part in skits or, worse, actual matches.
There are the mid-level pop, rock and hip-hop stars awkwardly playing a clutch of their hits in front of wrestling fans that, by and large, could not care less about them. There are the vanity entrances for the big stars with lengthy high-concept production and choreography, when the crowd would pop for the opening bars of their theme if they hummed it at them.
Ive helped run events, artists and productions on stages from the teeny to the ginormous (yes, those are technical terms), and any decent stage manager could tell you that this is simply incompetence. Considering the vast, state-of-the-art production that WWE has working overtime, wed better make that 'stunning incompetence'.