10 Things Only '90s Wrestling Fans Will Understand
8. Time Used To Actually Move
On July 6, 1998, King Mabel returned to the World Wrestling Federation in order to put over Ken Shamrock, the new King Of The Ring, in a regicide angle of sorts notable for how weird it was.
The f*ck was Mabel doing there?
The memory is as vivid as it was weird: the mere presence of a relic from 1995, thrust into the horny, transgressive atmosphere of 1998, brought into focus how much the WWF had changed. It was literally like the WWF had underwent puberty between 1995 and 1998, as helpfully embodied by the squeaky-voiced, perma-erect Jerry Lawler, who had virtually everything in common with teenage boys.
The Mabel character felt about a thousand years old. Since his exit from WWF screens in January 1996, everything had changed: the tone, the colour scheme, the ring style, the TV format, the roster, and yes the f*cking attitude OK. We weren't in Kansas anymore.
We were in Jerry Lawler's ball sac.
It must be weird as a motherf*cker to be a 15 year-old WWE fan, not, statistically, that such an entity exists. But theoretically.
We went from the Ultimate Warrior to Steve Austin.
The 14 year-old has gone from Dolph Ziggler to Dolph Ziggler.
No wonder there's no such thing.