10 Things Only '90s Wrestling Fans Will Understand
6. The Bafflement Of Your Friends
Wrestling, if it doesn't instil a lifelong fandom, will at least instil a lifelong curiosity. It cannot be fully switched off. It's a big Performance Center fan in the recesses of the mind.
You, the wrestling fan, must have encountered an old, lapsed friend asking "What's happening in the wrestling these days?"
And the answer is something like this:
"Well, nobody's a star anymore. Vince is still running it, even though he is wildly incompetent. The storylines don't make sense. The Big Show is still knocking about. Randy Orton is, too, after 18 years, which is 19 years after you stopped watching, so you somehow don't know who that is. The Undertaker reckons he's retired, but he's been saying that for six years.
"Oh, and once a year or so, Attitude Era midcarder Road Dogg comes back to beat up the new stars."
If you were a '90s wrestling fan, and the conversation turns to wrestling on a catch-up sesh, those friends are invariably mystified. "He's still in it?!" they will ask, incredulously.
These people have lived full adult lives since they first clasped eyes on a cornrowed culture appropriator telling them to suck him off. They have loved, lost, got married, had kids, graduated from university, started careers, changed careers.
And the one constant, through such transformative change, is that Road Dogg is still dry humping midair.