9. How To Use Your Monsters With Care
WWE has been the land of the giants and the monsters for so long that, even in 2015, Vince McMahon still gets all excited in his trousers when he comes across a new big man. Adam Braun Strowman Scherr is a new case in point: recruited to be a new Wyatt, he's now being rumoured to be facing the Undertaker in singles competition. Why? It clearly won't be a good match. Takers a crafty guy, able to adjust his style to reflect his advancing age and battered body, but even he cant make a silk purse out of a massive sows ear. More than that, who benefits from it, this early on in Strowmans career on the main roster? If Taker goes over then the brand new monster on the block has been wiped out by an old man before he really even got going. If Strowman goes over, then its just yet another massive man that the Undertaker has put over during the course of his career. Strowmans better off as the Wyatt Familys muscle, at least for now. Meanwhile, the Big Shows been in WWF/E for sixteen years. During that time, hes had 1200-odd matches and lost around half of them. A genuine pituitary giant who can both work and talk (and who had the operation early enough not to have to worry about turning to stone like his peers), and theyve booked him to appear completely ineffectual. Now, we didnt get The Mountain turning up every week in Game Of Thrones, having sword fights with Ned Stark and the Hound. He skulked around in the background being huge and horrific: as it should be. Bray Wyatt is another example of ill-considered look-before-you-leap booking: hotshotted into feuds all over the place from day one on the main roster, we still dont really know much about why hes in WWE or what his gameplan actually is, but weve had a whole lot of Bray Wyatt anyway. In Game Of Thrones, less is more. The White Walkers have been up in the frozen north creeping out goats and stray wildlings for five seasons now: if winters coming, its taking a bloody long time to get here. But thats fine: the creeping dread that comes from the gradual reveal, the careful plotting, is far more rewarding than if the undead had turned up in Kings Landing halfway through season one. Giants and monsters arent quick fixes or short term booking solutions: theyre terrifying forces of nature, only to be unleashed upon the world when it makes good dramatic sense.
Jack Morrell
Contributor
Professional writer, punk werewolf and nesting place for starfish. Obsessed with squid, spirals and story. I publish short weird fiction online at desincarne.com, and tweet nonsense under the name Jack The Bodiless. You can follow me all you like, just don't touch my stuff.
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