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10 Times Wrestling Matches Got Weapons Wrong

Gimmicking the quiet part loud and the loud part quiet.

WWE

It really isn't difficult, or at least it shouldn't be, for a company that very condescendingly prides itself on its ability to tell stories.

"We make movies," once said a lip-smacking Vince McMahon, and he was right, in the end.

Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2010) barely even qualifies as a film. It is so laughably amateurish in every single criteria that it can't be a film, because the sole qualification is that somebody filmed it, but is canonised as one precisely because it is so worthless. It is one of few times that punching down is halfway acceptable; the director is a dreamer with no talent, but the schadenfreude is so powerful that it transcends morality.

Anyway, there's a scene in which the crazed birds attack the leads by a car, but the birds, because this is no-budget, are screensavers. The director can't show the birds because he has no money, and he lacks the connection to reality to determine how awful it looks.

In Swamp Fight (2020, Dir. Jeremy Borash), they show images of threatening alligators in post. They don't show convincing CGI alligators because it's a load of cheap, lazy sh*t literally worse than Birdemic, because they have no excuse.

Gauge the tone. That's it. That's all you need to do.

Tables are good because the noise is very satisfying, as is the crumpled human heap. A good chair shot sounds disgusting. Brass knuckles are meant to go undetected. Don't be dumb.

Don't be really, really dumb.

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Contributor
Contributor

Former Power Slam Magazine scribe and author of Development Hell: The NXT Story - available NOW on shop.whatculture.com!