10 Ultimate Wrestling Guilty Pleasures

Cultural appropriation meets midlife crisis, Hulk Hogan's impassioned promos in the buildup to his Yappapi Indian Strap match with Ric Flair at 2000's WCW Uncensored are like watching a Renaissance sculptor shaping a giant turd. Despite Hogan's best efforts, the finished product was never going to look quite right.

Supposedly inspired by a Native American tribe, the Yappapi Indian Strap match was Hogan's ticket to ending his blood feud with Flair following "The Nature Boy" sending longtime Hulkamania ally Jimmy Hart to the hospital. Really, it was nothing more than a regular strap match repackaged and cloaked in phony Native American lore. You know something's off when the vast majority of search results for "Yappapi" point to this dumb match.

Still, Hogan throws himself into the moment, treating audiences to absurd levels of detail in describing the Yappapi Indian Strap match and his meticulous plan for victory. Hogan outlines how his main priority is to ensure "flexibility of the wrist" and "to get the body in the prime position for the strapation, dudes." Is he talking about a wrestling match or a Tinder date? Hogan then takes his 50 Shades of Grey fan fiction even further by describing how "Strapmaster" Jimmy Hart's presence at ringside and possession of multiple Yappapi Indian punishment straps would make all the difference in winning the day and whipping the flesh off Flair's back. But victory or defeat, there was no glory in this contest.

It's all rather embarrassing, which is why Hogan's conviction is so remarkable. He comes across as your best mate's dad discovering BDSM after the divorce. "Let me tell you about the birds and the bees - and my leather, son."