10 Ways To Make WWE WrestleMania 36 NOT Totally Weird
5. Make The Matches Shorter
Christ almighty, can you imagine the Randy Orton match in the Performance Center?
Orton works a grinding, methodical style that functions to grip the crowd slowly. His spare, slow assault is meant to register a sense of imminent doom on the part of his opponents, which he intensifies with his wicked body language and deliberate, dreadful movement. It is, yes, meant to echo the snake's slither within the long grass. In the PC, he will look like a worm bending the space-time continuum, contriving to make an already tedious approach feel even longer. If the world isn't already at a complete standstill, Orton will do the noble thing and bring it to a crashing halt, preserving entire generations of humanity. All of this may act as a suitable visual metaphor for the events that are unfolding, but it will make for an agonising, farcical entertainment experience.
The Undertaker will look utterly broken down in there, without a loyal and charitable crowd willing him over the line. John Cena's melodramatic pauses, in which he looks to the crowd for hope, will look fantastically awful.
Smack the sh*t out of each other, and quickly, using pounded flesh as the all-important canvas of sound, go home, and spend time with your families.