10 Ways WWE Has Warped The Minds Of Fans

6. Exposition Isn't Storytelling

Bayley SmackDown
WWE

The trademark WWE opening promo segment has broken the brains of us all, when one comes to think of it; either in deadened, f*ck-this frustration, or into believing a completely slanted perspective on how storytelling should function.

A promo isn't crucial to tell a story, certainly not one in which Dominik 'The Locust' Dijakovic talks some b*llocks in a pitch-shifted voice. It is possible for a wrestler to convey their motivations and to develop their character without saying "You see," and then explaining what it is they are feeling or what they did last week for 10 straight minutes. We saw it last week. We saw the replay. We saw it the week before that, too, since RAW is stuck in the f*ckin' Black Lodge. It will lose the battle with its shadow self, but they'll get the win back don't worry.

"Wrestler X doesn't even cut promos!" isn't the same as "Wrestler X isn't telling a story".

Kenny Omega barely cuts promos on Dynamite, and his arc is clear, and made more compelling by the subtlety of every physical beat: he's the company guy, intent on performing in the competitive spirit and sharing this unprecedented journey with his friends, slowly transforming into the worst (and also best) version of himself.

"Hangman Page? More like, Hangme out to dry Page! Where were you last week?!"

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Michael Sidgwick is an editor, writer and podcaster for WhatCulture Wrestling. With over seven years of experience in wrestling analysis, Michael was published in the influential institution that was Power Slam magazine, and specialises in providing insights into All Elite Wrestling - so much so that he wrote a book about the subject. You can order Becoming All Elite: The Rise Of AEW on Amazon. Possessing a deep knowledge also of WWE, WCW, ECW and New Japan Pro Wrestling, Michael’s work has been publicly praised by former AEW World Champions Kenny Omega and MJF, and current Undisputed WWE Champion Cody Rhodes. When he isn’t putting your finger on why things are the way they are in the endlessly fascinating world of professional wrestling, Michael wraps his own around a hand grinder to explore the world of specialty coffee. Follow Michael on X (formerly known as Twitter) @MSidgwick for more!