You like the word wrestling. I like the world wrestling. Your niece knows what wrestling means, and your grandma knows what it means too. Do they know what sports entertainment is though? Do you tell your friends and family that youre a fan of sports entertainment? Hey, want to come over and watch some sports entertainment with me? Has that ever been said in the history of the world? No, of course not, because even though Vince McMahon has wanted us to use that word for years it is absolutely not catching on. At one point, it was the World Wide Wrestling Federation, then it became the World Wrestling Federation, then it became World Wrestling Entertainment, and now, its just WWE. The world wrestling is no longer involved. In 2011, Vince McMahon took it out! Why? Because he has contempt for that word. And hes crazy, and thinks you shouldnt like it either, because hes Vince McMahon dammit! Also, youre not a fan of wrestling, no. No, no no, absolutely not. That would be silly. You see, you are a member of the WWE Universe. It is MANDATORY that the announcers say that instead of fans. Imagine the NFL suddenly hating the word fans too, and forcing every announcer, league wide, to say The NFL Universe! It would be insulting, and egomanical. Just like Vince. Titles cant be referred to as belts or straps either. Hell, the word interesting was listed on a 2008 memo of banned terms for announcers. My God. Nicknames are forced on us for the wrestlers themselves. Remember when, out of nowhere, Kofi Kingston briefly became Wildcat? He didnt announce this, Michael Cole informed us that people were calling him Wildcat, which was not a thing that was happening. How about The Architect Seth Rollins? Who called him The Architect before the announcers told us to? At no point before that name was said on air did Seth talk about assembling The Shield. Oh, and The Divas Revolution didn't develop, it was ANNOUNCED by Stephanie McMahon and now that term is repeated ad nausem. Thats not how these things work! But what do we know? Take this sports entertainment and shove it McMahon. Viva la Wrestling!
As Rust Cohle from True Detective said "Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you're good at."
Sadly, I can't solve a murder like Rust...or change a tire, or even tie a tie. But I do know all the lyrics to Hulk Hogan's "Real American" theme song and can easily name every Natural Born Thriller from the dying days of WCW. I was once ranked 21st in the United States in Tetris...on the Playstation 3 version...for about a week.
Follow along @AndrewSoucek and check out my podcast at wrestlingwithfriends.com
