10 Wrestlers John Cena Would Not Put Over
Tales from the crypt.
John Cena has downed tools in recent years, having both gently lowered the shovel between 2015 and 2016 and, on the evidence of 2017, having failed to turn up to work altogether.
2015 is a distant memory. We can no longer see it; the John Cena of that year welcomed Kevin Owens to an elusive club by cleanly losing to him in a major shocker at Elimination Chamber. It was the first of three absorbing if almost polite my-turn/your-turn spot-fests. Cena was also in the midst of his quite brilliant fourth run with the United States Championship, during which time he defended it in an Open Challenge gimmick rewarding for fans and midcard talent alike. AJ Styles subsequently profited from Big Magnanimous John the following year, much like his fellow hardcore darlings CM Punk and Daniel Bryan had earlier this decade. But, as a telling indication of the extent to which SuperCena reigned supreme, even the squeaky-clean Straight Edge Superstar never did defeat John Cena cleanly.
The nicest guy outside of a wrestling ring happens to be a bit of a sh*thouse inside of it...
10. Jesús
This marked the embryonic phase of Juuuuuurrrrrnn Cena's love of the shovel.
Future serial killers hint at their future selves by torturing animals and dressing like their mothers. Cena foreshadowed his future here by no-selling a kendo stick shot to the kidney his opponent had previously punctured with a knife. This match was held for the United States Championship. For the sake of psychology alone - never mind the future of that poor f*cker Jesús - the challenger should have got some licks in. That didn't happen - at all. As revenge for stabbing him in the kidney, Cena absolutely battered Carlito's muscle for seven uncomfortable minutes. Jesús entered the match with two herniated discs in his back, which Cena helpfully exacerbated by refusing to pull two wicked kendo stick shots of his own.
The march to WrestleMania 21 was on, and Cena hadn't yet reached a point where he felt comfortable enough exposing his replacement as a fraud unable to cut the sort of ad-libbed promo for which he wasn't trained, but still: even Hulk Hogan knew that, to mount an effective comeback, he had to actually come back from something.
Jesús never came back from this, incidentally. Of course he bloody didn't.