10 Wrestlers Who Have Been "Killed" In 2020

Rey Mysterio is dead. Despite what "experts" at the "local medical facility" might have said.

The act of removing the eyeball from a living human being is, and I don't mind sticking my neck out on this one, easily one of the most traumatic events it's possible to conceive of. Strictly speaking, this isn't fatal and a lot of people do make full recoveries from it, but when you actually consider what's involved in putting it back in I'm not sure you'd want to.

First of all, Seth Rollins extracted the eye by using the very corner of the ring step. Not with some gentle medical device or with any sort of expert supervision, just a jagged metal 90° angle. The longer the eye is out of the head (two weeks and counting at the time of me writing this) the more strain is put on the nerves that connect it to the brain.

Anyway, here's the official medical procedure for fixing "globe luxation", as it's known.

Doctors apply some topical painkillers, hold back your lashes, and poke your eyeball into its socket by pressing on the white part with gloved fingers. In some cases, they’ll use a simple tool like a bent paperclip to shoehorn it back into place.

A paperclip.

If Rey Mysterio isn't dead then he's absolutely going to wish he was when the "local medical professional" comes back from the goddamn stationery cupboard.

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