10 Wrestling Matches That Were NOTHING Like You Expected
WWE marathons, NJPW sprints.
The new WWE style, much like the old style, is formulaic.
WWE's halfhearted adoption of the Indy style, welded clumsily to the basic big man trappings of old, yields the follow layout: big man/heel throws little man/babyface around the ring, hooks the leg, and a kickout. Big man/heel mimics little man/babyface's crowd appeal, hits a few strikes, rest hold. This goes on for some time. Little man/babyface escapes, regroups. Can't get that momentum, so must first create separation. Big man/heel charges little man/babyface to the corner, verbally blasts the referee, before striking down little man/babyface once more - to the back of the head or neck, for emphasis.
Everything is emphasised.
Little man/babyface is bulldozed into the barricade, or the ring apron. One of the two, or both. Another rest hold. By now, little man/babyface is virtually an impotent ragdoll, which means the crowd is more muted than molten in their support. Strikes. Rest hold. And then, at long bloody last, the comeback. Great-looking signatures. Suicide dive! Some excitement! Commercial break. Reversals, signatures, reversals, a decent pace, good, belated action. The finish.
We know what to expect to such a borderline parodic extent that, were Steve Austin to come up today, he'd be told to fly through the top and middle ropes as you make sure not to go anywhere as we return live, next, to Monday Night RAW.
It wasn't always like this...
10. El Torito Vs. Hornswoggle Wee LC Match, Extreme Rules 2014
Broad, borderline insulting comedy of the unadulterated sh*t Hornswoggle vintage.
Nobody, quite reasonably, expected anything else out of a Kickoff banter bout between a little person comedy figure who was never over and a little person comedy figure who came to rubber stamp WWE's latter-day carelessness towards continuity.
Instead, we were treated to something WWE went all in on. The commentators were little people, as were the announcers, but they weren't punchlines. There was nothing mean-spirited about it, which was the clear, cynical concern. Well, apart from Jerry Lawler. The tonal range of the thing put paid to the idea, immediately, that this was green-lit purely to pop the boss. Torito's unexpected aerials were crisp, and well-received; 3MB committed to the schtick without a hint of reluctance by sprawling themselves theatrically on the outside; we laughed at comedy both dark and unintentional (a gruesome, flailing ref bump from the oversized Jinder Mahal) and stupid, but not not funny (that man again, your future WWE Champion, taking a nut shot from 'Swoggle). And then things got quite violent, when Hornswoggle flattened Torito through the mini announce table in the best such spot one of Vince McMahon's sons took this decade.
Nothing about this was expected. Apart from when Jerry Lawler said "I hope this is a short match". That was inevitable.