8. Jesse Ventura - The Body Rules
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOkLhf6m8aE Jesse Ventura is more well known nowadays for his conspiracy theories and past political career than for his time spent inside a wrestling ring. One thing The Body was never known for, however, was being a musician. Despite that, Ventura did release a record back in 1984. The 7 single featured one track per side. The Body Rules was on side one, while the impossible to find Showdown With Mr. V graced the other side. The Body Rules is indicative of many of the songs on this list. Its a generic rock song featuring a heavy guitar riff and talented backup singers who attempt to cover for the fact that Jesse cant sing. Somehow, Venturas lack of a singing voice works for the track. Hes got enough charisma and grovel to make up for the lack of pipes. In typical Jesse fashion, the song features lyrics solely about Ventura himself. He sings -- well, groans -- about how hes got the body. After repeating that lyric a few times, a guitar-shredding solo will kick in. Its the 1980s in all its glory, and its Jesse Ventura -- you simply cant go wrong.
Douglas Scarpa
Douglas Scarpa is a freelance writer, independent filmmaker, art school graduate, and pro wrestling aficionado -- all of which mean he is in financial ruin. He has no backup plan to speak of, yet maintains his abnormally high spirits. If he had only listened to the scorn of his childhood teachers, he wouldn't be in this situation.
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