Speaking of ridiculously absurd... In 2004, Kane was one of the premiere stars on the Raw brand, a monster straight out of a horror flick. He was hideous, huge and got great pleasure out of torturing, tormenting and destroying his opponents. Somewhere along the way, the Devil's Favorite Demon decided he wanted to spread his demon seed and have a little Kane to carry on his legacy of boring Big Show matches and Katie Vick references. Enter Lita, who suddenly went from challenging Trish Stratus for the women's title to dodging a maniacal stalker. Matt Hardy would try to fight for his love's freedom from the Big Red Monster but failed miserably, most because he was little more than a midcard jobber at that point in time. At SummerSlam in August, he endured a gigantic chokeslam from the top rope that resulted in Lita being forced to marry Kane, as per a pre-match stipulation. Wearing a suitably black dress to the ceremony, Lita watched as Hardy again failed to save her, then went limp in the arms of her new husband as he carried her out of the arena. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3REfqJv-aKg For the first time, the villain won. Of course, Gene Snitsky would arrive, causing a pregnant Lita to miscarry, thus turning Kane babyface in some of the most illogical booking in WWE history, but who's counting?
Erik Beaston is a freelance pro wrestling writer who likes long walks in the park, dandelions and has not quite figured out that this introduction is not for Match.com. He resides in Parts Unknown, where he hosts weekly cookouts with Kane, The Ultimate Warrior, Papa Shango and The Boogeyman. Be jealous.
